AHA!! Do a Happy Dance!

Ok so I tried to sneak an I Love You out of the great evader and I didn't get anywhere... BUT! I got something sooo much better instead! Here is how it went.

Me: So, you like me don't you.
X: (watching football not paying attention) yea
Me: You like me a lot don't you.
X: (still not paying attention) Uhuh
Me: You more than like me and you are a fraidy cat to not say it.
X: (football is more important) Yes babe.
Me: AHA!!! I KNEW IT!
X: (oh sure now he listens) HUH?
Me: Nothing. It's too late now. Want some nachos?
X: (staring at me like I'm a freak) sure thing...
Me: Okie Dokie
X: Hey, I been meaning to ask you something very important.
Me: (Oh crap what have I gotten myself into) Hmmm?
X: Well, I was kinda wondering if you would... Well, do you wanna...
Me: (HOLY CHIT BATMAN! WTF IS HE SAYING) Spit it out X!
X: Do you wanna go to Disney Land with me? You, me, and the Crystal Queen. (that's what he calls Kayla. I don't have a cutesy name.)
Me: (breathe Nikki. Deep deep breathes.) Oh yea that sounds cool. Sure thing babe.
X: Okay... Nachos?

Not exactly the conversation I had in mind. But HEY! Disney Land Biatches! Oh and he bought me a perdy necklace because he LOVES me but he just can't admit it because then someone might take his man card away. Or his player card. I think I'm gonna leave it alone for now. I keep getting awesome stuff out of his fraidy cat ways.

Thanks for all of the advice my blogger peeps!

I'm Back! Well, Not Really But I Am Gonna Grace Ye With A Couple Words!

I'm not gonna tell you why I haven't been blogging because someone recently said that blogging about why you haven't been blogging is lame and I never wanna be considered lame in the eyes of the interwebs! That would be just horrible...

I lied. I'm gonna blog about why I haven't been blogging! YEEHOO! :-P to the guy who said this would make me lame. I laugh in the face of imminent lameness!

I have been working of course. Boring. I won't talk about that. MaKayla got Student of the Month at school! That was pretty dang gum AWESOME! Yea! I said it! AWESOME! Like AWwwww and Some SMASHED together and came out with my daughter and she is just about the greatest thing since peanut butter and honey sammiches!

X took us up into the mighty Rockies and we had a great time and THENNNNN... The strangest thing in the whole widely world happened. And so I need advice from my blogger brothas and sistas! We have not said the L word yet. I am thinking the L word, but I don't feel like I should have to say it. When you have to say it that means you aren't showing it as much as you should be. Plus it's just too early.

Anywhoos, that's not the point. We have done secret stuff with each other (psst over here. I don't wanna talk about the dirty on here cuz little people read this. And by little people of course I mean midgets and they get iffy when you talk about S. E. X.), but when we were in the mighty mountains he pulled a weird one on me. We were laying together after a movie and he said he likes me a lot and he can tell that I like him just as much. Then he said he is afraid he won't be able to love me like I deserve to be loved. He said he is broken and he doesn't think he is capable of loving me truly and deeply. Hmmm... RIGHT?!

Ok so of course I sit up in bed and ask him directly, cuz I'm crazy like that, if he is trying to break up with me! Like WTF kinda time is a romantic weekend to do that kind of thing!? He assured me that he was not trying to do that at all. He truly likes me and wants to be with me. So, he wants to be with me but may never love me? I'm soo confused about this one. BUT I have fun with him so I guess I will stick it out and let time tell. Anyone know what is going on with him?

Let's switch channels for a bit! Kayla made out like a bandit on Halloween! She got so much candy we are set until Easter! Maybe even longer! That's why you have kids my dear friends. So that you can steal their Halloween candy. Why else would ANYONE feed someone else for 18 years. I'm telling you candy and someone else you can make do the dishes is the key reason!

Thanks for listening to my freak out and also thanks for sticking with me even though I seem to be gone way more than any good blogger would!

PS The yanks won and I am soo bummed out about that! Also my Broncos took a beating from Balt which only has me more irritated. First loss of the season. Bye Week screwed up our winning streak!

Monday Already

It's Monday again and I could almost swear that yesterday was Monday too but I might be mistaken since that's kinda impossible, but what I am really trying to say is my weekends don't last nearly as long as I would like them to and I have a plan for that. I am going to convince my boss that everyday is Friday so he always thinks I have the next day off and I think it will work. If it doesn't, well let's just say I have evil seeded ideas about peanut butter covered desks and letting in the crazy backyard squirrels.

I got my nails done by a lady that didn't speak English. That was quite interesting because I don't speak her language either and that really makes for some interesting conversation. I'm pretty sure all she knew how to say in English was manicure? pedicure? what color? She didn't really say anything else. I have a theory though. I think maybe she could speak perfect English but they do that so when they make a mistake they can blame it on no speaky any English. I'm sooo on to that.

I don't really have anything else to talk about what with me not having any time to get table dancing drunk. My neighbors must be scared of me cuz they always seem to disappear as soon as I come outside. They may be on to my plans to take over old people and make them my slaves. Hmmm. Now that I think about it, old people probably wouldn't make very good slaves unless I wanted them to gum my food for me before I eat. Or take me on a ride on one of their little motor scooters. That would be kinda cool though admit it.

Randomly Mention Random Things on Tuesdays!

Because I'm different I can have long blog headers and make no sense and no one really says anything because I'm like that special kid that used to sit in the back of the classroom and eat his boogers and sing Sesame Street songs all day. Yea, I was talking about you!

I have so much going on lately that my head has started to hurt and for those of you who don't really know me, my head NEVER hurts just because. It only hurts when I have to think too much and I try really hard not to EVER think too much.

X bought me a pretty vase with beautiful flowers in it but the flowers were dead after only a couple of days because I forgot to give them water and water is for sissies anyways so technically he gave me sissy flowers and what kind of boyfriend does that??

My neighbors are old people. All of them. I moved in to an old people neighborhood. There are no kids on my block. Just geriatric joggers and their saggy knees. My knees will never sag. Wanna know why? Because I vow to always wear support hose! Always! Saggy knees are more unattractive than saggy boobs because you can't hide them as well as you can boobs. I mean a good support bra and saggy boobies be gone but when your knees poke out your socks then we have a problem. I like old people. Really. I do.

Some crazy brain put peanut butter on their fence. It wasn't me. It was the old man next door. Wanna know why?!?! Of course you do! Because he was feeding SQUIRRELS! WTF have I gotten myself into. Saggy knees, crazy old men feeding psycho squirrels and last night a bird flew into my window and I'm pretty sure it flew off and died. I live in a weird place. And I love it soooo much!

My dad had Vegas night at my place over the weekend. We played Poker and Craps and when I was done winning I had enough alcohol to sterilize an entire operating room! It was by far the best night I have had in a long time. Not because I don't have a good time with my daughter but because she has had the flu for almost TWO WEEKS! and I love her but no one loves anyone enough to be happy after two weeks of puke and sick. All hail babysitters! Or step moms. Whichever you have handy.

I have to skip ta doo but I will be back before you can wink your cats third eye!

Scope took X-Lax and made it X-Rated!

Aww! Thanks Cora for taking it back. I'm totally not a tease except on Wednesday! Get it? Cuz Wednesday is hump day... Yea so um...

X called my dog a fake dog. He said it's more like a cat with low self-esteem. I think she is adorable but he swears she's not really a puppy. You remember my puppy right? Oh, you don't? Well, let me just show you a new pic of her all growed up!

Cute isn't she?! She totally counts as a dog so X can shove a cucumber where the... Well, you get the picture.

Other things that need mentioning! I've got a lot of them but I have been so busy I haven't had time to sit down and blog about things. First up is the fact that I am going back to school to get my master's degree! Yeppers! I can only take a couple of classes at a time because I am still working but I really wanted to do it so here I am!

Second and this is almost the coolest part of it all! I, that means ME!, finally found my own place to live and moved out of my dads house! Yes! Almost one year later! I bought!, yes that's right, purchased! my own home to live and grow in! I still live in Denver but my house is not NEARLY as nice as my dads. LoL. I have to wait till I win the lottery or become someones boss before I get to do that! Wanna see pictures?? I knew you would. These are from right after I cleaned up. Couldn't let you see the boxes so I moved them all into the study! Mahaha




^^^^^ I need a shower curtain if anyone wants to give me one! Until then I will just keep taking baths. My dad swears I'm too lazy.

So that is my humble abode. Pretty plain but it's all mine! And it was really low priced. Not gonna say how much but I will say under $160,000! I had to put all the stuff in it though. I didn't come with a fridge or stove or really it didn't come with nothing! But it's pretty and has a big yard which is unheard of. My real estate agent was really nice too. She invited me to a "coffee clutch" to meet the neighborhood. I have no idea what that is but it sounds fun!

My daughter is LOVING school which is really great because I didn't think she would but she really does. She comes home with toys all the time for being a good little girl and it's really cute and I love her so much and she is getting SOOOooo big! I really need to take some pictures of her so that you all can see just how big she has gotten! I will put that on my list of things to do right above bathe the dog and right under do the laundry!

I'm gonna sneak some more pics of the X man and see if I can talk him into letting me post them full on. He's so mysterious! Kinda like batman only without the really tight spandex panties. Until next time! Be good kids! Don't do anything I would do!

Rubbish AND Cora both called ME a tease!!!

Which might or might not be true depending on your definition of the word tease and whether or not I like you enough to even bother trying to tease you. I would like to thank both mo and Rubbish for completing my dilly whopper because they are the greatest and if I could afford it I would TOTALLY snag me a foreign rugby player or a sexy sweet train passenger from across the pond. I'm just saying, it's totally a turn on when I can't understand what a man is saying but it still sounds hella sexy because it's all in some foreign accent. Except for the Indian accent because every time I hear someone with an Indian accent I immediately think of that douche who told me to keep pushing ctrl alt delete like I'm a friggin retarded American and I don't know what the eff to at least TRY to do to fix my damn computer. You know what Indian guy named Steve?! Lick two fingers and stick em straight up your...

Okay, so I told you all I would tell you about the new Beau! You wanna hear? Cuz I got like all day to tell you about him. He made me promise to not put his picture on my blog but being the sneaky wench we all know that I am I found a loop hole! So I have some photos to share as well!!! First and foremost his name! It's X! Like sex! Only so much better! Ok, so his real name isn't X it's Xavier but everyone calls him X because he hates being asked "Xavier like on X-Men? Yo DUUUuuude!" He is 6'1" and weighs more than me but I don't really know how much because I have never asked. I'll ask tonight when we go play lazer tag with the kids! He has dark dark blue eyes and dark brown hair. He is a white dude which surprised my mom cuz she says I only date black dudes which isn't true. I keep reminding her that just cuz my daughter's dad is black doesn't mean that's how I roll.

Anyway, moving on. This is X flexing and trying to impress the pretty girl behind the camera. Now, I have taken creative licensing with his photos as he will not let me post them as is. He sooo should have just let me post them.


Ok, so now that you know what he looks like. Wanna know how we met? Do ya really? Ah ok since you begged. He knocked me over when I was leaving work. I really mean it. He was in such a hurry that he ran into me and knocked me flat on my ass. All the way. I may have even bounced once from the force. I just sat there for a minute not knowing what just happened and he kept apologizing and trying to walk away at the same time. Which is when I realised that he really hurt me. So, I got up and limped over to the planter on the sidewalk and sat back down. He was NO WHERE to be seen and I was pissed. I decided to sit and wait for my dad to come out in a half hour to help me to my car. About 10 minutes later this jerk comes back out the front door and I gave him the dirtiest look I could manage. He walked over to me and apologized again but I couldn't get over the fact that he left me laying under people!

He sat with me until my dad came out and the whole time he was trying to tell me that he had to get these papers to his boss and his boss is the biggest jerk in the world and if he was late he might have lost his job and he had been trying so hard to get them there on time and yada yada yada. I was ignoring him. He was pretty cute though so I didn't ask him to leave. When my dad came out, X pointed and said "See that dude that looks like a tank that's gained a couple rolls? That's my boss. Man is mean as shit but smart as hell. He's who I work for." Right as my dad walks over to me and asks if something is wrong. "No daddy." Sweet school girl bat of the eyelashes and X jaw drops to the ground.

Things are funny between them but my dad says he's a good, smart man and will go places if he doesn't knock anymore of his boss' daughters on the ground.

So now we have been dating for um like a while cuz I'm not good with dates or whatever but since at least July and I like him quite a bit so don't any of you try to take him until he gets on my nerves.

Something totally unrelated. My stray kitten that was mentioned way back when has disappeared. I think she got tired of Izzy and Mia and ran away. Back to stray world for her.

If you want to know anything else about the elusive X just comment me with questions. I'm looking forward to bombarding him with them!

I'm A Bad Bad Girl

Ok so maybe I haven't been doing so great with this blog thing lately. Sue me! I haven't been juggling very well lately. Too much to do and not enough time in the day to do it. Like maybe someone can come and do my job for me for like a week and then maybe also do my homework for a week and I can get caught up on all of the other fun things I have been missing out on. Like food. Me and food haven't been seeing each other much lately but I think we understand that we still love each other.

I came back and found out that I have an award! What a welcome home present if ever there was one! Cora gave me this.

Isn't it great?! I thought so, and my thoughts are really the only ones that count when you get right down to it. I'm typing this at like a hundred miles an hour because I have all of 20 minutes to finish it so excuse any bad grammar or any sentences that don't make sense. Yes, I will blame my random words on speed! So go kiss a toad!

So the rules are that I have to name 7 things about anything. I can handle this because I have 7 things about EVERYTHING.

I pick 7 awesome things about football season. I may get off topic slightly.

1. I love getting to watch sweaty men try so desperately to hold on to a football. I love it even more if one drops it and they all slam into each other with so much force it could derail a locomotive!

2. I love that football season is the only time of year when I can scream hysterically at the television screen without anyone looking at me strange. I love it even more when I am in a public place and start to throw tortilla chips at said screen and instead of getting kicked out people join in with me.

3. I love the fact that we never pay attention to the cheerleaders stop being the center of attention after high school football and no one really pays attention to them anymore. I have an unhealthy hate for cheerleaders. How come I can't get paid to prance around in my undies and do nothing but smile. Oh wait... Never mind.

4. Moving right along... I love listening to the fans at a college football game because we all know college football fans are WAY crazier than any other. But wait, I love being surrounded by all football fans. Football fans are my favorite people. Nothing beats standing next to a 300 lbs man with nothing but shorts on painted Broncos orange and blue screaming at the top of his lungs in a snowstorm!

5. I love the rush I get when the score is tied and there are only 27 seconds left in the 4th quarter and the Broncos are on their own 10 yard line and McDaniels is standing on his tip toes screaming audible and the QB finally hears him and we make the play and it goes off perfectly and we score the winning TD and the stands erupt in triumphant roars!

6. I love the fact that I got season tickets to the home games because my boyfriend knows I love football more than him and is trying to buy me! I love that I am going to get to see the Broncos take it to the Super Bowl and I love even more that my dad said that if they do go to the Super Bowl he will make sure I get to go!

7. But most of all I love how football loves me back. It never lets me down! I can always count on a crazy awesome game on every sports channel there is for almost 5 months out of every year! I love how football keeps my blood pumping and my temperature rising even more than sex! Ok, only sometimes. But really almost all the time. I LOVE FOOTBALL!!! And thank you GOD it is finally here!

I think you get the picture. Ok so now I have to tag people and this is the part I really like because I get to tag all of my absolute FAVORITE bloggers but since like every blogger on the planet has already been tagged with this one and I'm like the last one to get invited to the party I am going to tag ALL of my followers who also have blogs. But I would really like it if mjenks, rubbish, and mo did this one. I would like to read the answers. So do it to it boys and girls. Hit me with a link when you do so I can get back to it because I am so busy now that I never really get to check through everyones blogs on a daily.

Thank you so much Cora! I really enjoyed doing this! I promise I will catch up on everyones blogs just as soon as I can catch a damn break! Oh and next time I blog I will tell you about that elusive beau I keep mentioning but never elaborating on.